Love and Sex & Dating


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— All about sex, my offered honest love, and dating in my life,
the lessons I’ve learned, what ladies really want, and ideas
I have from the Bible and also personally about sex and love,
and dating too, admittedly generally from a male perspective,
and with a very erotic rock playlist.

April 27, 2018
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Love and Sex & Dating

Dating, Sex, Relationships
and Marriage: God allows us to get away with a lot
in the realm of “lust” (so-called), if only
we don’t covet a woman (Romans 7:7)

The Daily Walk with Love, updated April 27, 2018, by Paul Evans. Quotation and new featured photograph courtesy of How to Tell if a Woman Likes You, The Modern Man, no date, by Dan Bacon, and also How to Know if a Girl Likes You, wikiHow, which I find incredibly useful. Music video playlist is Dwight Yoakam – “Fast as You” courtesy of Dwight Yoakam, Warner Brothers and YouTube.

Parental Advisory: This discussion and the sexy Dwight Yoakam video is meant for adults and not those under 18. If you’re age 13 to 18, please ask your parents if it’s OK to read this article: this is pretty good and experienced advice on love and sex and dating, which you will find pretty accurate, take it from someone who’s “been there.” Photo of an enchanting and beautiful young woman in a natural setting is called “the goddess of wildflowers” and is from an unknown source (but I found it on Google). Second included photograph/graphic courtesy of IBelieveInLove. I do not own the copyright on the featured photo, it is leased. Also recommended is Christianity, Lust and Human Sexuality, recently on The Daily Walk with Love, by Paul Evans, which takes a factual, Christian and modern look on some of the major issues involved.

Ladies, I’m Paul, the owner here, I am (somehow) 61 years old, 5’10” and 190 lbs., “single and looking.” If you are sincere, caring, honest and loyal, I want to hear from you, and looks do NOT matter that much. I would describe myself as honest, gentle and kind, really sometimes funny, but, having survived what I have survived, I am not weak. I am fully supportive of a lady in my life and make you my priority. OK, I’m poor, if “money is your morality,” you should move on. If you do email me, be ready to chat and talk and hopefully date almost quite soon, OK? All I want is the sweet companionship of a kind and honest (AND loyal) woman, maybe even only chat, that sort of friendship or more, of course “more” is up to the lady. Email debianuser1925@gmail.com. Any REAL women out there?

I have been thinking about republishing this article for a couple of days now. HEY, WE HAVE A CHATROOM NOW, PLEASE FEEL ENCOURAGED TO STOP IN AND CHAT WITH ME! Ladies, it’s a CHAT, not marriage! For heavens sake, let’s keep each other company, be friendly and chat with each other. (Right now, unfortunately, I don’t feel that the chat room amounts to much, and I would encourage you to email and chat with me at gmail, I’m debianuser1925@gmail.com!!

See Sexy New Age Mix: 3rd Force – “You Gotta Be Real”, The Daily Walk with Love, April 14, 2017, by Paul Evans.

First off, so far as I am concerned, I’m looking for an intelligent woman, who might not mind my (strictly unofficial) ties to CIA or to Anonymous, nor my obsessive blogging, would like music (especially) and also photography, and would also like to ultimately help lead us in the direction of a more caring, sharing society (to be one of those “points of light” and have an ethic or contribution, however you might be led.) And let me just say I would put the ladies interests high in my life, maybe even just the music would be enough to both like if our personalities clicked. I am a kind man (and value kindness), gentle and peace-loving, and very sweet, sensual and affectionate in relationships. I have not dated in over three years and I feel it’s my time now. If you email me, Paul Evans at debianuser1925@gmail.com I will be happy to give you my cell phone number.

I recently got fed up and very tired of it all and lost my cool in one chat on gmail. What follows is one part of one paragraph of that rant:

Tell the God-damned CIA to stop right now with women (invariably from Ghana), sent to break me down, among other ways with some damned “loyalty test,” of my love, because I will NOT play that game, at all. What if I MYSELF have a loyalty test, that initially in a relationship a woman is willing to pay me quite a bit of attention, to chat with me quite a bit (without excuses) and to somewhat come after ME, and not the other way around. I will know when the woman is sent by God and is the woman God meant for me when the woman pursues ME and makes ME feel good about it. (Then I would give her anything I possibly could.) The emotional (and even physical) pain for me on dating chats (given to me fully on purpose, probably mostly with bots), and your damned loyalty tests by “women” who are invariably from Ghana and need money, just piss the sh*t out of me and I will never care for such a woman. Ladies, normally I am a kind, gentle, affectionate and loyal man. Neither do you have to look like a model.

NOTE: There are 300,000 homeless veterans out there — This is absolutely unacceptable. Everybody needs somebody sometimes: National Suicide Helpline 1-800-273-TALK. God Bless You All! PLEASE share this article with your friends and contacts.

Guys, Are you With Me?
I HATE Internet Dating

I have participated in the whole crazy, more or less painful world of internet dating for almost eleven years now. This included three separate engagements, (of which at least one came to me strictly from the Internet), about which (frankly) the less said the better. Internet dating is not (quite) completely bankrupt, though sometimes I have thought it demeaning and a waste of time. One Microsoft tech did try to assure me that “it IS possible to meet someone online.” I’m beginning to wonder about that. I am NOT cynical, but I guess I have to face facts like anyone else. I’m poor and have no car…. and I smoke… it’s hard even to find a friend.

smurf-like couple very much in love sits together in front of a large red heart

Anyway I want first of all to give some links to articles and videos I have written which “speak to me,” and might be relevant. Then I will to discuss a few relevant teachings from the Bible which are my personal guide in the matter of women and sex and dating, and discuss my experience with internet dating and help people not to make some of the mistakes I made. Bible teachings about the whole morality of sexuality in the context of dating, as you can imagine, have been strongly on my mind through all of my time doing internet dating. These ideas were very much on my mind, as have been the good strong ideas about all this, but soon I found the Bible verses which now guide me about sex and dating and interacting with the ladies. (Check out for example Romans 7:7.) All I ever wanted, all I have prayed for, worked for, sweated blood for, been homeless because of, is for ONE sincere, caring, affectionate and Loyal woman in my life. I wonder if there is any woman in the world for me! I am kind, gentle (this is the whole problem in my life, people think I’m weak, and this just isn’t so), intellectually intense, pretty funny sometimes when the mood strikes me, very affectionate and loving and passionate in a relationship. I am addicted to blogging (cigarettes, too, this alone cuts out two-thirds of my possible mates), I live and breathe music, and I smoke and am 420 friendly but do not smoke weed as a personal choice, only cigarettes. I do not drink alcohol at all any longer, and (with me it goes without saying, never ever do hard drugs).

Some Help for the Ladies

Insofar as I can tell, this short paragraph speaks of ways women can really get a guys attention (or else really turn him off.) The number one thing a man hates at the beginning of a relationship is when they won’t send photos…. They don’t need to be nude photos at all, but you would be encouraged to “get his attention.” The number two way a woman can upset a man and turn him off is where the woman enter into periods of dead silence and will not reply to a chat or series of chats entries by the man… you ladies seem to think that second one is OK — it’s not, and you should also inform a man when you are going away for quite a while, out of elementary politeness.

If ANY woman might be interested in getting to know me, please write to me at debianuser1925@gmail.com and we will chat. You really DON’T have to be a supermodel you know. I give EVERYTHING in love, my whole heart and soul, all my love. I ALWAYS get terribly hurt and broken up if the relationship doesn’t work, and evil in my life has always denied me. First I would like to give you some links to articles I have written, particularly Best Quotable Quotes by Paul Evans (Confessions of an Internet addict), The Daily Walk with Love, September 25, 2016, from which here are a couple of quotes about women and dating:

My Best Quotable Quotes
about Sex and Love and Dating

Paul Evans: “There are those species of spiders where after the mating, the female devours the male. With humans it takes a little longer.”

Paul Evans: “Russian women, and witches, always feel that they have to prove to you they’re tougher than you are. And they are.”

Paul Evans: “Yeah you’re sweet. I know about sweet women. Young, beautiful, sweet women. Woman are dangerous. And beautiful women are especially dangerous. Then there are young, beautiful, sweet women who like to play games…. The guys know exactly what I mean.”

Paul Evans: “A warning to ‘philosophers’ about cogito ergo sum. Thinking about stuff will get you words and logic, not happiness or a decent life. To know what I know as a simple human and in my circumstances is not at all happiness. The only thing that could mitigate it is a caring woman’s love. Watch Don Henley – The Heart Of The Matter.

Paul Evans: “Witty. Yeah, ‘have a cigar, you’re gonna go far.’ The girls at HookupCougars just say, dismissively, ‘Oh, you’re a poet.’ (You know, as they say, ‘first you must be very sure, that life is not a game.’)” I think a big part of my problems is that i have been through so much that I get fairly intense just getting my thoughts into words to share with the ladies… But I am almost always kind and always generous and never seek to hurt anyone… I strongly dislike conflict of any kind, and I have a real strong tolerance before I get angry, which is very rarely.

I want to HEAR IT from you

Paul: How you ladies make me feel inside (a Rant, or at least a mild complaint): As I said in a chat to a woman I thought cared, “Do you understand… this whole thing has me behaving neurotically… and I told you I basically have a real problem even sleeping alone any more… and the usual male ‘remedy’ of porn no longer interests me.. I NEED a woman IN MY LIFE.” (And one thing that “yanks my chain” on women’s dating profiles are those of you who claim, “I don’t NEED a man in my life, I do WANT a man.” Yeah, right, you are trusting the INTERNET to anonymously hook you up with a decent guy, but you are not needing a man. Right.)

But I can rarely even get a decent woman to chat with me without asking for money right away! Communication means a lot to me, when I’m into a woman, I want to share my mind with her. And I don’t want implied promises, you know, at this point “faith is holding you in my arms.” But I’m not into casual sex, either. Just make it real, tell me, in words on paper or out loud, that you care, AND talk to me, if you want an emotional commitment from me. (Guys, don’t let a woman con you into deleting your dating profiles right away, either. This is the voice of experience.) Almost all of you ladies seem to feel that even chatting is too much of a commitment, while you expect a man to act as though he is married to you, and right away. (And you all say that age and poverty don’t matter to you, but yet none of you ever commit to me, so what am I to conclude? The only women who WILL commit right away are either addicts or African ladies, and both sorts demand money almost right up front.) Almost none of you, in my experience are open and honest, you are deceitful as to your intentions, and I am very open, honest and sincere and basically, I think that really scares most of the “real” ladies away. And then there are the “dating bots.” You will run into a lot off these among the more young and beautiful women, guys…. Get them to show you proof. (But understand that if the lady is young and beautiful, you are going to have to convince her that you truthfully care about her, and most of these ladies have some sort of ESP (you can’t really fool them.) Yes, also I’m saying dating sites use AI dating bots now… it’s hard to tell, but if the “lady” responds in the same way with the same words to multiple different situations, that’s a huge clue. Ladies, it’s a chat, not marriage. And even so, in my experience you ladies overall have a huge problem making any sort of a commitment. (You’d have to actually make up your mind.) Aren’t ANY of you interested in “Honest Love,” like my tattoo says?? Just casual sex doesn’t cut it for me, like the Dwight Yoakum song, “I ain’t that lonely yet.”

Ladies, (and especially ladies who are baby boomers), and guys too, listen up! Jesus said, “he who does not hate their mother and their father cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” Yet the old testament teaches, “Honor thy mother and thy father that thy days may be long upon the earth. Jesus here, then is using the expression “kingdom of heaven” as a metaphor for the sacred state of marriage, and saying that parents (perhaps especially Jewish parents) are selfish and do not want to let their children go. He who has ears, let him here. But like so much that Jesus said, it was not quite meant to be taken fully literally, though it certainly did point at reality.

Secondly, the matter of oral sex. This “ultimate sin,” as some preachers would have you believe, is actually the gateway to the kingdom of heaven, or marriage. If a man and woman love each other enough to do this, then they are spiritually married before God. You must never, ever do this just casually. Whom God has brought together in this way, let NO MAN (or woman) tear apart or prevent from a Christian life together. What is sinful becomes fully godly in a decent, Christian long term relationship, and the two of them are married before God. Sex before marriage? Would you buy a car before taking it out on a test drive? Peace, freedom and love, children.

You ladies SAY you value kindness and open, “honest love,” but you see I live in poverty and as far as I can see, THAT’S what really matters to you ladies, is, you want the house (or good apartment), the car (and I don’t drive) and the trinkets. You’ve been totally mesmerized by what you see on TV, in the movies, on the internet. But for those very few women who might actually want a poor, kind, giving and affectionate man, who would love to get to know you. It would be nice if some lady proved me wrong and I knew happiness before I died.

Well, you ladies really need to realize, dating and a life with ANY man has it’s limitations and either you actually do that, call it “settling” if you will, or you end up dying alone. I feel so terribly neglected (AND mistreated), I am in almost severe emotional distress over the way you ladies treat me. I feel you should be ashamed. But I WILL persevere, although basically how I FEEL is that soon I will find someone or die. I honestly believe I may be at least psychologically actually dying of loneliness. Thank God for my “second family” where I live, without them I would have gone fully insane long ago. I will not spend the rest of my days alone, suffering your neglect, ladies, and/or abuse. I am poor and have no car but I have a lot to offer a smart, caring woman who likes music or the internet. Please, anyone who might care, say a little prayer for me, won’t you? And BTW, I am NOT hard to please. But for me, communication is the key to my heart, and if you don’t enjoy hanging out with me, either in simple chatting or in person, what’s the point?

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Some Sexy, Cool Articles I Have Written
with Sexy, Cool Music

See Enigma – LSD: Love Sensuality Devotion (Full Album), The Daily Walk with Love, September 9, 2016, by Paul Evans. This is the sexiest, and possibly the best, electronic new age music I know.

See MIX: Santana – All The Love Of The Universe, The Daily Walk with Love, September 5, 2016, by Paul Evans. Ah, Carlos….

See The Dharma of the Mindful Now, The Daily Walk with Love, August 9, 2016, by Paul Evans: my experience of life, what it’s like for me (when I’m not too f*cked up by some girl, lol).

See 4 Non Blondes – What’s Up (Mix), The Daily Walk with Love, September 1, 2016, by Paul Evans, very cool, and revolutionary rock! The lady who sings this music is fairly “ordinary” looking but to me she’s a real turn on.

See Playlist: The Who – Love reign over me, The Daily Walk with Love, August 23, 2026, by Paul Evans. One can still have hope, as they say, hope springs eternal. Ladies????

Bible verses which speak to me
about Sex and Love and Dating

The most important verses in the Bible governing my own behavior (at least ideally), especially with women, are Ephesians 4: 31-32 — “31: Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This verse is honestly how I try to live my life. It’s been really hard, and only a good Christian woman could help me recover all the way.

Romans 7:7 – speaks to the heart of the situation: “I would not have known sin had I not known the Law, and I would not have known lust had I not known coveting.” The first part of this should be clear to us: Jesus states that “not one jot or tilde of the Law will ever pass away,” so ignorance of it, and our own awareness of sin, are matters for our strong familiarization with the Law: The Pentateuch, or first five books of the Bible. These teachings may in my opinion DO need to be “translated” into a good modern-day understanding, but they ARE important in our development as moral Christian people. But what strikes me here is that LUST, as Paul teaches it, must necessarily involve COVETING, which in fact is the Tenth Commandment, that we must not covet that which is not ours. So, isn’t this saying basically, sex without coveting is actually somewhat moral, within the context of a committed relationship? Shouldn’t we unashamed about sex, even from a Christian, Biblical perspective. It was because of Adam and Eve’s shame at their nakedness when God got angry with them. That is how it speaks to me.

Secondly, at the same time I because aware of the importance of Romans 7:7, God also gave me 1 Corinthians 7:36, which says, “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.” In other words, with marriage, there is freedom of sexuality, and no sin is involved.

To some extent for me, based on Romans 7:7 and 1 Cor. 7:36, sharing love and sex is different than coveting (lusting after) a woman for just for sex. However for personal moral reasons I really do not want to have sex outside of either a committed relationship or the hope of one. In any event there is no sin involved with marriage. To me, living with a lady is the same in God’s eyes as being married to her. Nor do I feel that God expects it to always work out, and He fully understands if you have to try a few times before you get it right. For me, as perhaps for God, a devoted, long-term relationship IS basically the same thing as being married before God. I do not need some scrap of paper telling me so. As a Bible believing Christian but a man who in practical terms is somewhat modern in his approach to sexuality and dating, it is these two scriptures, Romans 7:7 and 1 Corinthians 7:36 which are central to my own beliefs on dating, sex and marriage. Perhaps that might help a few other fellow Christians struggling with these issues.

Oh God, Internet Dating
(some guidelines on online dating for men)

I am in no sense a prude, I am very comfortable in my own skin, but I am in no sense a hypocrite. I do not feel I am in any way immoral, yet I know a lot of you judge me about the whole internet dating thing. That’s your problem, this is between me and God. God knows, I was not much good at internet dating over some ten years, and so, almost despite myself, I DID learn some of the “rules of the game.” Here I’m mainly trying to help out the guys so they won’t make the mistakes I did. (No peeking at this stuff now, ladies!!)

photo of an enchanting beautiful woman in a natural setting called the goddess of wildflowers

OK, if you are an absolute newbie, the BEST FREE internet dating sites are PlentyOfFish, which has the most profiles and boasts that it creates the most relationships and marriages; OKCupid, which has been described as “the Google of internet dating” and might be the best place to find someone actually compatible, although it involves the loss of your privacy the most; and if you don’t mind nudity and the occasional lady of the night, HookupCougars, where you DO get a lot of action, but it’s real hard to convince any of the women you aren’t just trying to get laid. HookupCougars is trying to get $30 out of you but will let you have two IM messages per 24 hours with any given woman for free. Another real favorite of mine which is, compared to the others, VERY cheap to join, with good people there, is MarriageMindedPeopleMeet (How does $7 for a month’s subscription strike you, guys?) Another good site for “discreet” or various sorts of hookups, for whom I actually advertise, is CuteHookup, which has a good, free basic membership.

Beware of fake smiles and false women (or men) and lies. If you are younger, you may as yet have no idea about just how much people are selfish, evil and full of lies. My advice is to speak totally honestly and openly to the ladies and from your heart. Some of these ladies, the cool ones anyway, have ESP and will know if you are fake, and anyway they all want honesty (and so do I). Don’t believe the advice and warnings I am giving you here, men? You’ll see. I am absolutely just trying to help you, if you’re too naive or sexed up to take the advice, you very likely will suffer, maybe for years. (And Herpes is forever….”)

Guys, I can’t stress this enough: do NOT give these girls money based on some promise. The right girl is NOT going to ask you for money. (At least make them work for it, lol.) Basically at this point, I HATE internet dating with a purple passion. The worst problem is the problem of identity. You really do NOT know who you’re talking with. GET their phone number, don’t just email and chat with them. Look up that area code, that’s about the best you can do. And women use giving you their photographs, especially their sexy ones, almost as a weapon, they do not give you good photos, sometimes at all, or at least until they find out what they want. Be suspicious if they DO give you sexy photos right away, maybe they are druggies trying to get money, or they have an STD and are desperate, it just doesn’t usually happen. TRY to find a girl who actually likes your company in person, likes to hang out with you, otherwise, what’s the point? And BTW you very likely are not going to find the right girl in a bar, either. Maybe you should just find a big enough church you like to go to and let a girl into your life that way. But if you are going to try internet dating, be very patient… unless of course you are young and rich and a hunk, in which you should have little problem, except weeding out the one you want. (LOL, this is not my problem….)

There is a “learning curve,” if you will, with some of these ladies. See for example 16 Kinds of Intimate Kisses & What They Mean, Conscious Life News, July 31, 2016, by Vicki Howie. The Keys to the Kingdom: Also involved here is that ladies are often looking for two things, men: All ladies seem to want in some honest and heartfelt way for you to APPRECIATE them, to appreciate who they really are. And they are looking for full honesty and sincerity. A lot of these ladies seem to almost have a very real ESP, so don’t fake it, they really dislike THAT.

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As far as the whole internet dating thing goes, most of the profiles are fake, or with fake or old photos. If they aren’t actually fake, they are either basically all the same, or else the photos are ten years old. Many of the girls are only out for a good meal ticket. There ARE exceptions. And unless you are young and rich and a hunk, you are going to send out ten or twenty nice, carefully composed emails for each response you get. “Oh, well.” One big rule, it now seems to me, is don’t take the approach of mailing out a whole bunch of emails. (In biology the idea of blitzing a dating site with dozens and dozens of initial emails would be called the “shotgun approach,” as some species do in reproduction (a whole lot of babies.) It IS clear to me, this didn’t work for me in terms of internet dating. Settle on a few girls and quite soon one girl and then be persistent as hell.” And ladies, I know you are females, but I wish you gals could really, actually make up your minds and settle on a guy and Then Be Loyal to Him!! You know, there’s no perfect partner. It’s almost a crap shoot, isn’t it? That’s why divorce is biblical (or at least still legal). The church shouldn’t interfere in this either, and I was quite pleased to see that Pope Francis is beginning to move the Catholic church in the direction of realizing that not all couples were meant to be, or as the Pope put it that “not all marriages are made in heaven.” A lot of the girls are just looking for money, too.

Try to find out what some of the girl’s hopes and dreams and interests are, make sure you match up with some of those, and talk about those in emails to the lady. Guys, TRY to be realistic: a 20-years-younger raving beauty is unlikely to actually be interested in you, unless she’s trying to scam you for money. Yes, OK, some women like older men, true, but I have found this rarely works out. Find out about their family: if the relationship is going to work out, remember, this will be pretty important. OK: rule number one, almost NEVER, ever, talk about politics with a woman for the first few emails. Really. Ultimately (keep this in mind), either you “settle” for someone or you end up dying alone, right? Hey Guys! Watch Three Dog Night – Try a Little Tenderness HQ, YouTube music video — 4:24.

Anyone who would like to talk is encouraged to email me at debianuser1925@gmail.com. God Bless and Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Dwight Yoakam
“Fast as You”

Please Visit The Official King James Bible Online
(1611 King James Authorized Version)

Proverbs 13:7 – There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing:
there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches.
(King James version)

Do You Want Somebody to Talk To?

Please email me, Paul Evans at debianuser1925@gmail.com.
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