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November 11, 2018
The Daily Walk with Love
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Internet Dating, Lust
and the Whole Painful World
of Relationships & Sexuality Online
Dating, Sex, Marriage
and the Centrality of “Not Coveting”
I have participated in the whole crazy, more or less painful world of internet dating for almost eleven years now. This included two separate engagements, about which (frankly) the less said the better. Internet dating is not (quite) completely bankrupt, though sometimes I have thought it demeaning and a waste of time. One Microsoft tech did try to assure me that “it IS possible to meet someone online.” Anyway I wanted first of all to discuss a few relevant teachings from the Bible which “speak to me.” In the last year in particular I have been doing a lot of reading in the Bible. Bible teachings about the whole morality of sexuality in the context of dating, as you can imagine, were very much on my mind. So when I read in the Pauline letters good strong ideas about all this, I began to feel that God was very much directing me in future behavior in any dating I may or may not do. Thus I wanted to share two very important Bible verses about human sexuality with my readers.
Romans 7:7 – speaks to the heart of the situation: “I would not have known sin had I not known the Law, and I would not have known lust had I not known coveting.” The first part of this should be clear to us: Jesus states that “not one jot or tilde of the Law will ever pass away,” so ignorance of it, and our own awareness of sin, are matters for our strong familiarization with the Law: The Pentateuch, or first five books of the Bible. These teachings may in some degree need to be “translated” into a good modern-day understanding, but they ARE important and central in our development as moral Christian people. But what strikes me here is that LUST, as Paul teaches it, must necessarily involve COVETING, which in fact is the Tenth Commandment, that we must not covet that which is not ours.
Secondly, at the same time I because aware of the importance of Romans 7:7, God also gave me 1 Corinthians 7:36, which says, “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.” In other words, with marriage, there is freedom of sexuality, and no sin is involved.
To some extent then, based on Romans 7:7, sharing love is different than coveting (lusting after) a woman for sex. In any event there is no sin involved with marriage. As a Bible believing Christian but a man who in practical terms is somewhat modern in his approach to sexuality and dating, it is these two scriptures, Romans 7:7 and 1 Corinthians 7:36 which are central to my own beliefs on dating, sex and marriage. Perhaps that might help a few other fellow Christians struggling with these issues.
Oh God, Internet Dating
(some guidelines for men)
God knows, I was not much good at internet dating over some ten years, and so, almost despite myself, I DID learn some of the “rules of the game.” As far as the whole internet dating thing goes, most of the profiles are fake, or with fake or old photos. “Oh, well.” One big rule is, don’t take the approach of mailing out a whole bunch of emails. Settle on a few girls and quite soon one girl and then be persistent as hell.” And ladies, I know you are females, but I wish you gals could really, actually make up your minds and settle on a guy and Then Be Loyal to Him!! You know, there’s no perfect partner. It’s almost a crap shoot, isn’t it? That’s why divorce is biblical (or at least still legal). The church shouldn’t interfere in this either, and I was quite pleased to see that Pope Francis is beginning to move the Catholic church in the direction of realizing that not all couples were meant to be, or as the Pope put it that “not all marriages are made in heaven.” A lot of the girls are just looking for money, too.
Try to find out what some of the girl’s hopes and dreams and interests are, make sure you match up with some of those, and talk about those in emails to the lady. Guys, TRY to be realistic: a 20-years-younger raving beauty is unlikely to actually be interested in you, unless she’s trying to scam you for money. Yes, OK, some women like older men, true, but I have found this rarely works out. Find out about their family: if the relationship is going to work out, remember, this will be pretty important. OK: rule number one, almost NEVER, ever, talk about politics with a woman for the first few emails. Really. Ultimately (keep this in mind), either you “settle” for someone or you end up dying alone, right? Hey Guys! Watch Three Dog Night – Try a Little Tenderness HQ, YouTube music video — 4:24.
Girls, I am still single and looking. Anyone who would like to talk is encouraged to email me at sailingtokansas AT gmail DOT com. God Bless and Blessed be the name of the Lord. Warning, the video playlist below is pretty sexy, not everyone will want to watch it.
The Fire Inside – playlist
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Proverbs 13:7 – There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing:
there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches.
(King James version)
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